Sunday, July 31, 2005

A quick peek before I hit the hay.

Sisters all together in the same place for the first time in 2 years.

I'll edit all the other photos and post some after we return from the Redbirds game tomorrow and I've had a little rest. I had a really nice time and it was a great day. I'm ready to literally crash right now after this long and lovely day.

Friday, July 29, 2005

If you don't like my answer, don't ask!

Yesterday James asked me what I wanted for my birthday on Monday and before I could reply said, "but not that camera you want because that's too much money for a camera and you already have 3 cameras."

Well hell! Why'd he ask?

I'm going to remember that little conversation the next time he mentions this or that gun that he wants cause he already has 3 or 4 guns and why on earth would he need another one?

My cousin, Hop, called last night to find out what time I planned on arriving at the family reunion. I told him the only reason I was going was because he and his sweet wife Lisa and their family would be there (and my sisters and their families of course) and he said that was the only reason he was going to make the trip too and wanted to make sure he didn't arrive before we (my sisters and I and our families) did. Can you tell by this exchange what a thrill attending this annual event is for us? I didn't even go last year because I knew Hop wasn't going to be able to come from Alabama and his brothers weren't going to be able to make it either.

I reckon we're tagged as the "strange" relations because we say our hellos, give the obliging hugs, and then sit around outdoors talking, and laughing, and catching up on what we've missed in each other's lives. What makes us strange is that we don't CARE how much someone's new truck cost, or what the price tag was on the silver, or what the cousin's wedding dress set em back. These are very important things to my mother's oldest sister who is the hostess with the mostest at these events so our (Hop and Lisa, and my sister's, and I) lack of interest in these things kinda puts us outside the circle of love, if ya know what I mean?

Ya'll keep your fingers crossed that I can make it through another one of these without opening my big mouth to say what I really think, ok?

Thursday, July 28, 2005

I just had to post these.

Jerri sent these to me in my email yesterday. The Chick's been playing with her make-up and Jillian is being a sweet baby.

On Saturday I'll be taking loads of new photos at the family reunion and I'm bringing my granddaughter, Jordan, home to stay for a while so I'll have loads of new photo ops next week too!


I finally figured it out. Now I need to go rest my brain with a cup of coffee and some Lifetime television!


Do ya'll see that little strip of background color over to the left there? Does anyone know how I can get that little strip to cover the entire text area of my blog?
I'm ready to bite bullets here.

Tagged, I'm IT!

Nannie did it!

1. If you were a celebrity, what kind would it be (movies, tv, literature, crime, etc)?

A: I'd work as a fast talkin, beaker dropping, screwed up, personal assistant, to Gil Grissom (William Petersen) because I think he's the hunkiest thing since that boy Tommy that I liked in Jr. high school. I'd be the finest CSI grandma I could be!

2. Which other celebrities would you make a concerted effort to try and be around?

A: Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, and Clint Eastwood. Those guys make the frames of my eyeglasses melt!

3. Which other celebrities would you avoid like the plague?

A: Jim Carrey (it's something about the mouth,,no mouth should be that big,,ever), Jessican Simpson, and any chick with those collegen injected poochy lips. (shivers)

4. Which celebrities would you date?

A: William Petersen of course. Although I love Sean, Harrison, and Clint, they're getting to be old farts and I doubt they could keep up with me!

5. What would be your "Celebrity Cause"?

A: I'd launch a concentrated campaign to make health care affordable, if not free, to every American citizen!

6. Since celebs always get off, what crime(s) would you commit?

A: I'd refuse to pay taxes since I wouldn't be going to jail!

7. What would be the name of your tell-all book?

A: I'd call it Cinderella II cause it would surely be a fairy tale for me to become a celebrity!

8. Tag 3 people to do this poll.




Ya'll consider yourself tagged!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Prouder than a Peacock.

A short while ago C.M. Van Vleet left a comment on my blog asking me if I'd be interested in representing Arkansas in her 50 U.S. Blogs project. (ya'll might have noticed the little link icon over to the left there). I hesitated for about 3 seconds before accepting the honor after going over to take a look, and now, for the past couple of days, I've been compiling a State of Address entry for the
50 U.S. Blogs site to be posted sometime this year. I'll be sure to post the entry or put a link here when my entry appears. In the meanwhile, ya'll could browse the links posted ovah there and read about the representatives of the other states in our grand old country.

Since I had first, a windowless truck, and then NO truck due to it being in the shop, and then yesterday, a dead ass, I have avoided making the weekly trip to do the grocery shopping. Today that must be done or there'll be a riot around this household cause I'm out of most of the basics needed in meal preparation and there is no meat to speak of in the freezer.

I reckon I'd best get moving to get this chore done if I want to have a peaceful evening later on but I'll leave this for ya'll to smile about cause it's so TRUE in my case.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005


This is a test post from

Cassie-b has a birthday today!

Ya'll go on over and wish her a good un!

Truck fixed, Cell phone found, but,,,,

I reckon we're going to have to find a big bush to plant in front of the yellow spot on the vinyl siding. I firmly believe that anything that won't come off with bleach and an SOS pad is evil and should be outlawed, don't you?

I found this in some photos my aunt gave me a couple of years ago. Guess which one is me?

Monday, July 25, 2005

If I ever got it all together,,I'd lose it!

Or I'd trip over something, drop it, and kill something. I'm a lost cause!

It wasn't enough that I had to rush out the door this morning after only a half cup of coffee, with a grumpy child, to take my truck to the shop so they could order the glass for it and get it in today. I also had to find out that I've misplaced my freakin Cell phone AGAIN and I don't know where. It's gotta be in that truck somewhere (I hope) but since I haven't used in since around noonish on Wednesday, the battery is probably dead so calling it from another phone isn't going to help me find the danged thing.

I guess I'll look under and between the seats when I get my truck back.

Zach's not a very happy camper right now. He's having to scrub some bright yellow weed killer off the white vinyl siding of the house where he sprayed it. You might wonder how he came to have access to weed killer at his young age and it would be because his PopPop, even after having been around 3 of his own children and the many grandchildren we've been blessed with, doesn't THINK! He left the sprayer right in front of the porch steps and anyone with HALF a brain knows that when a child sees something that they're not supposed to touch, that can be sprayed, or turned on, or turned over, or blown up, etc,,, they're gonna give it a go. Even I, in my constant state of dinginess, know this due to the hundred, million times I've had to scrub nail polish, markers, crayons, spray paint, lipstick, and other child art mediums off of various surfaces and body parts. It matters not whether they're supposed to touch it, it's there. It's a guarantee that it's gonna be touched and touched a lot!

This same man is the one who decided that the third kitchen drawer would be a fine place to store those shiny, sharp, knives that he ordered from the shopping network back in the winter when all he had to do was watch TV. When I mentioned the easy access of said sharp knives for the little ones, he said that the kids shouldn't be in the drawers and all WE had to do was make sure WE watched them so they wouldn't.

I might point out that there is no WE in this watching of the children around here, at least not WE in that it includes the men folk. The men folk tend to go to sleep while supposedly watching the kiddies and give the 2 yr old that 3.5 second time frame to open a new bottle of methalade with a child proof cap that was on the counter that they shouldn't have been able to reach,,,but did,,and pour it all over the white vinyl kitchen floor and mop it around with my feather duster. (note: nail polish remover will remove this from your white floor). For the most part, the men folks don't pay much attention to most of the paths of destruction that a child can manage unless it happens to be some of their stuff that was included in the path.

I also might mention that it's the lady of the house's fault that the children do these things. This is the southern way. The woman is responsible for the raising of the children and the only time the men folk tend to get involved is when said children do something exceptional and then they want to jump right to the front of the line and accept the praise for fathering the little prodigy. If the child does something really dumb, or destructive, then they have inherited the gene for these traits from the mother's side of the family.

Now that I've given this some thought, I realize that it could be the cause of my gradual declining sanity. In just a few more years I could possibly be in line for one of those long holidays in a padded room somewhere.

I hope they have a good view!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Hell on wheels

It's just hot! And I love summer hot, but this is hell hot people! The air is so humid and sticky ya can't hardly breath it in and there is not a single breeze going on to break it up. It doesn't make for even tempers either. Hubby came home early on Friday and has been here nearbout constantly since then. I finally had enough in Wal Mart today when we stopped in to pick up some things we were out of. He made one of his famous, snide, smartass, remarks and I let him have it with,

"Allll righty then, you'd best shut your mouth cause I'm in no mood for your hateful, asshole, antics today and if you say ONE MORE WORD we're gonna throw down right here in the checkout line in Wal Mart, if these folks will kindly move out of the way!"

I don't know if he believed me or not cause we're still not speaking much.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Full as a tick on a fat old hound dog.

Soon after my son and the Chick arrived this morning, Jerri came with the littliest Chicklet and brought the fixins for a sho'nuff southern cooked meal. I put on a pot of pinto beans before she got here and then she cooked up some turnip greens, cheese and macaroni, hamburger steaks and gravy, and some banana pudding. I made some of those boxed mashed taters and sliced up some 'maters and cucumbers and we sat down to a meal fit for any member of down south royalty. (not that we have any of those but if we hadof ya know).

There was one little episode today that shook up the Chick and I just a tad. We hopped in the truck before noon to make a cold drink run to the store and after I'd gotten her buckled in and got in myself and shut the door we heard this tremendous BOOM. For a second, before I turned around to see whatthehell was going on, I thought we'd been shot at. But it turns out that the back glass on my truck exploded when I shut the truck door. I think the temps were already over a hundred at that time so I guess the heat caused it to explode. Luckily all the glass fell in the back seat and in the truck bed. Now Nanny's hoping it doesn't rain before she can get her truck to the shop on Monday!

Another day in the land of Nanaw.

Yesterday flew by and I reckon it tired me out just a little cause I remember answering the phone around 7:30 this morning but I immediately laid back down and the next thing I knew the Chick was coming through the door announcing, "I'm Heeeeeeereeeeeeee!" That was some time around 9ish.

Our Friday afternoon activities included a tea party, fun with stickers, and a chat with Miss Jillian when she woke from her nap.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Tiny Visitors

Two little girls came to visit yesterday. One of them was the new wee one. I think they're returning to see Nanny today.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

"Swing low,,,sweet chariot"

As we were coming home from grocery shopping on Monday, Zach and I were held up at a redlight in West Helena by a funeral procession. There was this huge stretch limo following closely behind the hearse and only about 10 cars of mourners behind them so it was a rather short procession by southern standards. We are very respectful here in the south and one sign of respect we observe is to never pass a funeral procession (in either direction), so I drove so as to stay a good piece behind the funeral cars once they'd gone through the intersection. I had plenty of time to think as this was probably the slowest procession, at 15mph, I've ever been behind. So my thoughts drifted to how things really haven't changed all that much down here in the south.

My first thought was that this was a black funeral and the reason I knew this was because of the direction the cars came from and the fact that a stretch limo was used as the family car. You see, although the South professes to be intergrated we really aren't in some areas and funerals are one of those areas. There are funeral homes that the Negroes use and funeral homes that the whites use, and black cemeteries and white cemeteries. And although many of the churches in larger cities are intergrated, it's not so here in the rural areas of the delta where there are numerous, tiny, negro churches scattered all over the countryside and only a few white churches in the small and larger towns.

My second thoughts were about "why is this procession going so SLOW?" White funerals, especially a redneck, white funeral, would never have such a slow procession of cars. They'd be taking advantage of the situation to speed and run the redlights and stop signs, even the hearse driver! (I'm not joking here people!) The white folks also know that it's a good idea to move on out of the way because all those cars and trucks that are pulled over out of respect are only going to be respectful for so long. Black processions are going to take the opportunity to let everyone see the stretch limo.

Moesha: Driver, driver,,go slower right through here, my mother's, daddy's friend, Deiondre lives here, and I want to make sure he sees me riding in this here car,,,,wait, wait,,there he is,,, sittin on his porch couch,,,WAVE big ya'll!!

Laqueta: Wait up driver! Corentine couldn't come to the funeral cause her leg be broke and she ain't outside the house there, stop and blow the horn and give her a minute to come outdoors so she won't have to miss out on every bit of this here funeral.

Ok, so I'm gonna probably go to hell for this but when your poking along at the speed of a turtle on tranquilizers your mind wanders and gets you in trouble.

Monday, July 18, 2005

My Grandparents

My grandfather, had he not died in 1998, would have been 103 on July 20th. I've been thinking about he and my grandma Fisher a lot these past few weeks. About all they lived with and through during their lifetimes.

My grandfather Fisher was not a big man but he was the most honest and intelligent man I knew. His most remarkable physical feature was his hair. As long as I knew him he had a full head of silvery hair and always had his trusty pipe and wore overalls. Grandma was short and round and almost always wore house dresses with an apron tied around her waist. They were so very wise and managed to keep us out of a heap of trouble during the years we lived with them on their farm.

Their lives spanned the time of the greatest technologcial improvements the world has ever seen. They were both born within a little more than decade of when their parents pioneered in Oklahoma in the late 1880's when the Fishers went west in a covered wagon . Towards the end of her life, Grandma took her first trip by jet airplane to visit family and lived to see man land on the moon and the invention of computers. They lived the depression era, the one we only know about from TV. When my grandmother married, women were not even allowed to vote in the U.S. They were both 10 years old when the Titanic sailed her first and last voyage.

My grandfather told me after purchasing a John Deere lawn mower, " Sister, there was a time when I could have bought a couple of new pick-up trucks for what I paid for that thing", and he was right, in 1915, when he was forced to be, due to the death of his father, the man of his family, a new Model T could be had for $345 of his hard earned dollars. He could also buy a gallon of milk for just a few cents but there was little need for that when he or grandma could walk out to the barn and get it fresh from the cows.

My grandparents were in their late 60's before they ever lived in a house with indoor plumbing. I still recall how good and cold the water was that came from the old pitcher pump in the back yard. I can remember pumping many a bucket of that water on wash day too. I was around 10 or so when the phone company put phone lines out to the farm and they got their first phone. They were on a party line and only answered the phone when it rang 2 long, and 1 short rings. Other wonderful memories are of being snuggled under a load of grandma's handmade quilts on cold winter nights and taking cool baths in the old, galvanized wash tub out by the pump in the summertime at dusk.

I guess city folks would think it was a hard life but I remember such good and happy times during the years I lived on that farm with my grandparents. I was most fortunate that they lived to see me grown and with children of my own for them to cuddle. Both of my grandmothers worked harder and longer than any other women I've ever known so I reckon I learned from them that honest work never killed a soul. I'm certain that I'll never be the woman they were though, and I don't believe I'll ever meet or know as honest or hard working a man as my grandfather was.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

I should be sobbing with them, maybe,,,,

but I also feel like turning cartwheels cause baseball season just might be over for the year (I whispered that cause I don't wanna go and cause any bad mojo to rain down on me).

Our lads went into this tournament with several handicaps. Our third baseman moved after the state tournament, our first baseman moved to third where he got a bad leg injury in yesterday's game, our catcher had strep throat and played yesterday while sick and couldn't get outta the bed today, and one of our outfielders went on vacation. So the short and sweet of it is the lads just couldn't adjust to the loss of so many men and bit the dust today.

Their little, dirty, tear-stained faces were so sad to see. I wiped a tear or two but this old, tired nanny is so looking forward to a few short weeks of long days of no practices or ballgames. And now I get to spend some time watching these grandbabies grow!!

A funny thing happened to James yesterday at the ballpark (that I missed due to the fact that I stayed in a shady spot instead of walking all the way over to another ballfield to watch the t-ball players with him). Anyway, he was standing under a little, bitty, tree near the fence watching the t-ball players and this guy walks up and stands beside him and starts talking. He pretty much told him his life story which included various stories about his bitch of an ex-wife who was worthless,,etc,,etc.. After a bit he asks James where he's from and James tells him, "Lexa". The guy says, "Oh yeah? My ex-wife is from Lexa", so James asks him who is ex-wife is. The guy says, "Well you know that M****** bunch down there?" James says, "Yeah, I'm a M******". James says the guy turned to stone in an instant with his jaw hanging down to his chest and he stood there about a minute more than slowly eased on over to find another place to stand. It seems the guy was once married to one of James's cousins!

A few photos before we head out.

Snuggling up to watch cartoons

Jillian opening her eyes for a peek and Nanaw.

Trish gave me some new photos of Jordan and Jaylen

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Another long day

We left home for the drive to the tournament at 7:30 this morning and soon after our arrival at the ball field we had a downpour. So we waited, and waited, and waited, until we finally played their scheduled 10 a.m. game at 3:45 p.m. Thirty minutes after the end of that game they started another and made it 3/4 of the way thorough and it was called due to lightning (although the rain hadn't made it still when we left the field). We just got home and back we go tomorrow.

Nanny is tired.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

I posted earlier today

But blogger was being a right old biddy and chose to throw my template format all off whack so I had to delete it to get it back in line. Patience is not exactly one of my best qualities ya know, and the older I get, the less patience I have.

Anyway, it's been a busy week and there's another tournament this weekend so I'll be finishing up my "Nanaw on the bench tan" and the "flat ass" look I've been going for.

Zach and I went today to see my little, old, black, man so I could pay the bills for the Improvement District for another month. Afterwards we went to visit the Chick and Jillian (Jerri and Bubbie too). Bubbie took the kids out to the pool to swim for a bit and then later they went to Sonic for icecream. Jerri told me she's pleased that he's been helping her more this time than he did when Alexis was born. I'm pleased because it means my son is growing up a little more and these little things make a Momma proud. I think he could do more though, and I think she's doing way too much!

Jerri is not feeling too sporty and will go see the doc tomorrow. She's having some sharp pains in her right side that are really making her very uncomfortable. She tried the pain pills the doc gave her but says all the do is make her sleepy and do little to help that pain. Mind you, the pain hasn't kept her from doing some laundry, cooking, and washing dishes! I understand that sitting around drives her batshit crazy but she's going to have to take it easier and let things heal before she dives in.

Jillian is such a good baby. I haven't heard her cry yet, just fuss a little once or twice when she was wanting her bottle. She acts all grown and stuff by holding her head up to look around and can wiggle herself out of a blanket in 2 seconds flat!

The Chick is being such a great big sister too! I really thought she'd be a tad jealous but she's not, and she's extremely protective of her baby. She's like a little whirlwind though so Jerri is going to have her hands full with a baby and a toddler for sure.

Trish is coming down tomorrow evening to see the baby and help out over the weekend. The Chick loves Jordan and Jaylen so they'll keep her entertained.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005


We went over to visit the Chick and her new baby sister late yesterday afternoon and the Chick decided she'd go to ball practice and then home with us to spend the night.
We've had a Chickie good time around here!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


Introduction to family of the family of one of Zach's teammates:

Carla: Brenda, this is my sister-in-law from "hell".

Brenda to sister-in-law: Nice to meetcha, I can relate, I'm from there too!

Conversation with grandmother of another of Zach's team players before the second Saturday game:

Grandma of Tyson: Well you made it back, are you feeling better, have you cooled off?

Brenda: Oh yeah. One little old lady tried to run me down on the way but after those two cold beers I was ready and I left her in the dust!

During a tense moment during the second Saturday game while standing at the fence behind the Ump behind the batter. D'Quenton is up at bat, 2 on base, no runs.

Brenda yelling: D'Q, if you hit those runners in I'll give you $5!

D'Q: WHAP,,,!!!

Two runners in! Brenda $5 poorer but smilin! (ya gotta know how to motivate those younguns!)

When James called on Friday to tell me all the new granddaughter details, he said when they brought the baby out Alexis was so excited and then got so pissed off because they were taking HER baby away to the nursery. My son told me they were waiting for Jerri to come out of recovery, and when she did, they let Alexis ride back to the room on the gurney with her Mom.

I'm so glad the folks at the hospital let her be there so she could bond with her new little sister.

Jerri called last night to tell me about another Chickie moment. Alexis had just gotten out of the bath and was cold so Jerri got some warm clothes out of the dryer to dress her in.

Jerri: Here's your Scoobie panties, let's put them on.

Chick: Not the Scoobie panties, they get in my crack, give me the Dora ones.

Another reason to smile over the weekend.

My sister doing the "Chicken wing" dance in front of Chili's to the delight of Jordan and Jaylen and about a hundred passers by.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Still one tired Nanny

The weekend of ballgames nearly did me in this time. The traffic was HORRIBLE, and I was in and out of that truck, up and down those hills at the ball park, and tired from toting all the stuff necessary for a weekend away with an 8 yr old ball player. They played 5 games and lost 2 of them, they were eliminated on Sunday by that team of big boys from Cabot which they played in Hot Springs that I think were really dwarves and 30 yrs old (grin).

I had a thought about letting Zach go with some of the other parents on Thursday evening and following up later on Friday but every time I mentioned it to him he would panic because I wasn't going to be there. He's only stayed overnight with family (with one exception and he was awake at midnight wanting to go home that time).

Zach and I got up early on Saturday and were able to go to another park across town to watch Jordan play in a softball tournament. She hit a home run and made her Nanny SO proud!

As soon as I pulled into the drive at home yesterday I changed shirts and we went to see the Chick's new baby. Jerri told us that Jillian is a very good baby and a VERY good eater! She doesn't waste a drop of her bottle.

Jerri took this photo when they were leaving the hospital yesterday. She has her wakeful moments but loves her sleep too (as you can see).

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Jillian Paige Mallard

8lbs 2ozs and 21 inches long. She'll be walking next week I think!!
Isn't she a beauty? And the Chick is a PROUD big sister!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

See Ya'll when I get back!

I've been runnin around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to get ready to go. One of these days I'm gonna just drop everything and GO instead of trying to get things "done up" and "fed up" first.

We'll be heading out before the birds wake up in the morning so wish us luck and I'm hoping everyone has a fine and dandy weekend!

P.S. I'm gonna have a new baby to play with when I come back home!!!!!!!!

Awake enough to finally read the news

And the first thing that comes up on the screen is the terrorist bombings in London. I am so sorry for these people who were just trying to go about their work day with no thought of having to deal with these murderers. I have no idea how we, as a civilized people, are going to deal with these mad men. Perhaps we should stop allowing them into our countries to be educated and cared for. Perhaps it's time we closed our borders to an entire cultural nationality since we can't seem to distinguish the honestly good people from the bad. What is wrong with these people that they hate the morals and ideals of freedom and democracy?

Thursday already!

I have a list of things a mile long to do today to prepare for this weekend's state tournament,

Buy snacks & cigs, and extra batteries
drinks for the cooler
laundry supplies (miniture stuff)
fill up with gas
GET SOME MONEY from the bank

Pick squash
cook supper
cry some more because I won't be there in the morning when the new baby arrives

Make sure the greedy Ya-Ya has fresh food and water and clean his cage
cry again (this really doesn't need to be on the list cause it's been pretty spontaneous)
Cook supper
Get the terrorist to ANOTHER ball practice this evening

Did I mention that their first game is at 9 a.m. tomorrow which means I will have to get my lazy ass outta the bed before 5 in the morning to load the truck, wrestle with a cranky kid, and be on the road to Little Rock by 5:30? (players have to check in at the park by 8)

I'm tired already so I better get this coffee down and get started.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Ok, I'm in Hell

The loud sounds of the same cartoon coming from two different rooms in the house. I'm even thinking in the Billy character voice! Yep, that's gotta be Hell.

I once had thoughts of putting a tv in my bedroom but I've wiped those thoughts completely from my mind!

Heh, heh, heh

The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not..oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every tuesday night in Kings Cross.Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is..oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races.Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)

A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It\'s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

A: It\'s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)

A: No, WE don\'t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)

A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)

A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you\'ll have to learn it first.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

I heard it thunder

But I musta slept through the storm. I'd already been outside this morning and looked around to see if anything blew away during the night but I failed to look over next door. Zach came in a little while ago and wanted me to look over at the neighbors to see something, he said, "I just can't describe it Nanaw". I reckon I'm a deep sleeper, even walking around outside in the mornings.

Damn Blogger Anyway

Stuff just isn't posting right today and I applied the fix that Brent mentioned and it still doesn't work. I'm getting ready to toss the whole damned thing!

Monday, July 04, 2005

Happy July 4th!

I'm firecrackered, cooked, heat stroked, and stuffed so I reckon it's been a pretty fine day here. Now I need for some red-neck fairy to flitter by and clean my house and do up my laundry and I'd be one happy belle.

We made it back from Frog Jump last night right before dark so we decided to do the fireworks last night instead of waiting until tonight because my son has to be up for work at 3:30 in the morning. They were right purdy but it was a bit hard to concentrate when every time you took a deep breath the skeeters tried to bite out your tonsils. They were that thick out there, I promise. We didn't get many bites for the most part because we used the neighbor's and Bubbie's supply of insect repellent and had 2 fans going full blast out there too.

A few folks asked about the location of this place called Frog Jump so I put some dots on a yahoo map for ya. It's really just a spot in the road in Crockett County, Tennessee, above Memphis about 65 -70 miles or so.

We're the gold dot by the 49 emblem over in Arkansas and Frog Jump is the gold dot right above Jackson, Tennessee.

We think it's really pretty country with it's rolling hills and hollows. All we have here are flat lands and cotton and rice fields so you can imagine how big a change it is for we Mississippi River deltians. Actually, I think over half of Arkansas is hilly with a couple of small mountain ranges, just not along here where we live near the river. We do have Crowley's Ridge between us and the Helena over by the river so we have a hill or two nearby if we get the urge to see one up close without having to drive a couple or 3 hours to find one.

I hope everyone is having a grand ole time today and stayed safe!

Saturday, July 02, 2005

A little rain and a lotta sunshine

We had a short but relieving rain during the early morning hours yesterday but then the sun broke through and turned our little spot in the country into a sauna. Thinking it would be a tad cooler if I went out while the grass was still glittering with dew this morning, I put on my old beach floppers and went to pull some weeds. Thirty minutes later I was drenched as though I'd been in a steamy shower, so the outdoor work today has been sort of the in and out kind. Out to do a little work, then back in to dry off the sweat and cool off a bit before wading back out into the humidity once again.

I picked up the yard, toys, toys, and more toys, so the mower wouldn't shred them into more work (to pick up) then James and Bubbie went to the corn field and brought home 125 ears of corn to shuck as we sat beneath the cypress tree. They'll probably go back on Monday to pull a few more ears to cut from the cob. In a bit I'll call down to the corner to order a Pizza Pro pizza and boil up a pot of that corn for supper.

We had another one of the bad news calls this morning. James's cousin (second cousin)died this morning after more than a year long battle with cancer. Tomorrow we'll drive to Frog Jump, Tennessee and attend the visitation at the funeral home in Halls. The funeral is Monday and the kids have already planned on a cook-out here so we'll pay our respects tomorrow instead.

Of all of hubby's family, I believe I loved Amos Earl (and yep, he went by both names) the most. He was always a joker and was the family historian. He'd traced that branch of the family tree a long ways back and it was neat to find out that one of James's grandmother's family was once the vice-president of the United States. I don't remember which one he was, but I reckon he had to be one of the redneck ones. This branch of the family was also one of the old slave owning plantation families but after the civil war things took a downward turn and over the decades the land had to be sold off.

I've finished my coffee break now so I'll go call in that pizza order and get the corn to boiling. I hope everyone is having a grand holiday weekend!

Friday, July 01, 2005

Dealing with the burdens of life:

Don’t ever listen closely to the Sponge Bob theme song. It will lodge itself in your brain, and days later you could find yourself in a biker’s bar with Hell’s Angels and you’ll still be singing that song.
  • Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
  • Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
  • Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
  • If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
  • Never buy a car you can't push.
  • Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
  • Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
  • Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
  • When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  • Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
  • Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once..
  • A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.