Sunday, February 27, 2005


How does it feel to be a big 7 years old? Did you have fun at your "Build a Bear" birthday party?

Tell your uncle Bubbie that I'm upset with him for not coming by here to pick up your present from us before he came over to your house. I guess you'll have another birthday surprise coming.

LOVE you!!

Friday, February 25, 2005

I'm still breathing,,,,

Although the exhales still have the ashy reminders of the flames I was puffing out a couple of days ago.

After filing a report with the police department, I have a new cell phone in transit since some low-down, good-for-nothing, asshole decided that finding a brand new cell phone was like having Christmas in February. I back-tracked and the only place I could have left the phone was in that damned rental car that I never should have had to be in in the first place. I'm not sure why I expected the finder to be so kind as to give me a call and tell me it was all safe and stuff. I really suspect the guy, who brought my truck and picked up the car, and his riding partner are the ones who found and kept the phone but there's nothing that can be done about it. I'll learn someday to keep up with my stuff, I reckon.

Anyway, I've been feeling all bitchy and stuff this week but I'm trying to get over it cause the stress is killing me!

I've been listening to Rock103 on the way to work and the City of Memphis is pretty much putting up with much the same stuff as many of our cities in the delta have been lately. The Mayors in and around our little slice of the U.S. have all come down with a Hitler complex of some sort.

Top of the list is Mayor Willie Herenton in Memphis who thinks he's God, or at the very least, his right hand man. His dictator-like antics have been going on for months now and I think the folks in Memphis are about to get fed up with it. His latest hate mails concern his intended layoff of over 2000 city workers this week after recently giving himself and a few select staff members little tidy raises. This man has 7 security guards on the payroll to guard himself from the masses. Anyone feel the love?

Even the Memphis police officers are sporting a bumper sticker with this nice design on it.

And this was added after an announcement by Herenton a few weeks ago that he admittedly fathered a child out of wedlock.

Ya'll keep an eye out,if things don't improve, property values in Memphis, TN could soon be taking a nosedive as folks try to rush to the Mississippian surburbs.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

I know where this guy's coming from,,,,

The receptionist

There's nothing worse than a snotty doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then reentered.

The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," the man replied. The doctor's office erupted in laughter.

I got my truck back today and it still has manual locks. After a phone conversation with the body shop dude who told me I was "making a mountain out of a mole hill" which caused me to blow like Mt. St Helen, I told the redneck asshole to bring my truck to me, don't fix it, don't touch it any more than necessary. Then I called the insurance adjuster and told him what they'd attempted to do.

They did finally bring my truck around noon and as I was leaving the office to go home today at 4:30 I discovered I didn't have my cell phone. I searched the office, my truck, and my purse and have decided that it must have fallen out of my purse in that damned car of their's that I was driving. The car that they rented to a lady as soon as they picked it up at the office. A car that's in Dewitt, 45 miles from here.
As soon as I got home and called them and discovered this, I had to call and temporarily shut off my cell phone service.

I'm beginning to feel like I have a magnet attached to my ample backside that attracts the worst kinds of luck. I hope if my phone's in that car the driver is an honest person and returns it.

Damn I'm a danger to myself when I'm under stress.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

If things got any better, I'd have to hire someone to help me enjoy it!!

I ain't complaining about another dull day. Ever!

Not that this one wasn't dull for the most part but I'm finding that getting all riled up takes up too much of my energy reserves and I don't handle it well anymore.

Last week (I forget the exact day cause I've slept since then), after a week and a half of waiting and half-ass promises, I was able to pick my truck up from the shop where it was in for repairs due to the crash attack of the kid in the ancient car in mid Jan. I discovered soon after picking it up that when the body shop folks had removed my door panel to do some of the repairs, they'd done something to my door lock. The autolock part wouldn't work so I called and was told they'd pick it up today and fix it and return it to the office before time for me to go home. Sounded simple to me.

Since I was getting off work at 6, I called the body shop at 5 to remind them that I was without transportation so they'd best be getting my truck finished up and back to the office. Whoever answered the phone said, "Ok".

At 5:45, still no truck, I called again. This time the guy says, "We've been trying to get hold of John at the insurance company all day to ok the parts we've ordered to fix the locks." I asked him what my lock had to do with the insurance since it had been working AFTER the accident and BEFORE they'd fixed the crash damage to my truck.
The guy said he was just answering the phone and didn't know but they'd bring me a loaner car to drive until they could get the repair done. I told him NO, I don't want a loaner, I want my truck, just forget the repair, bring me my truck so I can go home!

6:05, no truck. No answer when I called.

6:15, no truck. No answer when I tried to call again!

At 6:20 I asked Vivian, who was waiting there with me since I had NO way home, if she'd take me to the shop. James called me on my cell to see when I was coming home and I told him I wasn't sure but if I didn't find my truck he might need to come get me out of jail in a bit cause I was gonna kick somebody's ass.

We got to the shop and it's dark and all locked up and my truck nowhere to be seen so I go to one of the owner's houses which is beside the shop and ask him WHERE IN THE HELL IS MY TRUCK and why in the hell did they leave me stranded at the office without a way home??? He didn't know?????????????

I finally got home by driving someone's Grand Prix cause my truck is in their shop with the door panel still off waiting for parts that I'm not paying for so they may not get put on. I'm pissed past the point of return,,,

And I'm TOO DAMNED OLD for this kind of AGGRAVATION! Anybody know a good, cheap lawyer?

Things have been pretty dull around here

But if you can handle a few smiles, ya'll go over and check out the Chick. She's been keeping her momma pretty busy.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

I've been dragging my feet

And the rest of me is pretty draggy too. I've tried to trick Zach into going to be early 2 nights in a row just so I could get in some extra snooze time but he wasn't having any of it. I still got more sleep in 2 nights that I normally do in 4. I think the blood pressure drugs the doc gave me for the erratic heart beat is the culprit cause I have perfectly normal blood pressure and this lethargic deadassedness I'm experiencing is more pronounced than usual.

Anyway, on to a more newsworthy subject.

James was lucky enough this past week to be able to get up close and personal with a great horned owl.
He's so unbelievably lucky in that he runs across all sorts of interesting critters down on the farm and I'm so danged jealous cause I never encounter them with camera in hand. There's a crane or somesuch flying animal that I've been trying to sneak up on for a quick snapshot for weeks now. He stays in the fields about a mile from the house but I never can spot him before he takes flight and I never have my camera ready. But one day,,,,,

Anyway, back to the owl. James said he was about a foot tall at least and had made a nice little perch out of one of the tractor hitches. He wouldn't move so they could add transmission fluids to the tractor. They pretty much didn't urge him too vigorously since he and Efran (one of the Mexican workers) didn't think they'd come out of a tussle with him without bloodshed (theirs). They finally started the tractor and moved it a few feet and he flew about 3 feet and landed on a grain drill and was still there when they left.

I am SO envious!!!

My whole week has been mostly nonproductive except for the busy Monday. Jerri called me to tell me the Chick was sick this week with a bad ear infection again. She's hoping the doctor will send her to a specialist because of these infections. I think I'll have a visit tomorrow from the Chick and Krysten, MeriKate, and Abie so I'd better go and rest up for it.

I hope everyone had a great week!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

May Be Noteworthy News

Arrest of ‘gorgeous’ teacher in sexual abuse shocks town, McMINNVILLE, Tenn

Pamela Turner is a pervert, the 13 yr old boy is a victim.

Nuff said.

Michael Jackson Hospitalized?

SANTA MARIA, Calif. (AP) - Michael Jackson was taken to a hospital Tuesday and was to be admitted, the judge in the singer's molestation trial said. The development delayed jury selection.

Could I see the hands of anyone who actually gives a shit?

Farmer Paints Pigeons to Ward Off Predators

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A Dutch farmer has painted pigeons pink and green to ward off hungry birds of prey and it seems to have worked, a Dutch newspaper reported Wednesday.

"I'm crazy about the birds ... Naturally, birds of prey are going to eat pigeons, but preferably not here," the farmer told the Algemeen Dagblad newspaper.

He began painting the birds with environmentally friendly, water-based paint a year ago.

"The colors make the pigeons seem unsuitable as prey. The birds of prey simply don't recognize them anymore," he said.

I'm all for birdy protection and the pigeons in Europe do seem to be much more colorful than the ones I've had a few rounds with here, but I have these awful memories of those little buggers pooping on client's heads and MY truck those years at the other tax office,,,,,,soooo.

Panda poo excites experts

BEIJING (Reuters) - A study of giant panda poo in China has proved the endangered animals are expanding their horizons, Xinhua news agency says.

The feces were found in Fengxian county, in northwest China's Shaanxi province, where giant pandas hadn't been seen since before the 1970s, it said.

In December, a farmer told the Fengxian County Wildlife Management Station that he had spotted an animal that looked very much like a giant panda and had seen giant panda dung while collecting bamboo leaves on a local mountain.

"Experts with the Shaanxi Provincial Wildlife Management Station confirmed that the dung was left by an adult giant panda," Xinhua said on Wednesday.

"They ascribed the appearance of giant pandas in Fengxian county, located on the western section of Qinling Mountain, a major habitat for giant pandas, to the local government's strenuous efforts to restore and protect natural forest resources in the region over recent years."

The number of pandas in the wild has soared by almost half to about 1,600 in just a few years thanks to enlarged habitats and improved ecosystems, Xinhua news agency said last month.

Chinese forestry officials said last year that pandas, notoriously fussy eaters and picky partners, were rebounding from the brink of extinction.

Let's hear it for one of our favorite bears! I'm all for scientific poo recognition if it'll protect our cuddly looking buds.

Panda poo print courtesy of yours truly.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

A Day Off

Since I'm scheduled to work on Saturday Miz Debra graciously gave me the day off yesterday which made it a 3 day weekend for me. I feel like I wasted most of it though cause on Saturday and Sunday I was so lazy I almost mildewed. Nothing in the form of housework got done at all!

I thought I'd have enough time for a little nap yesterday but I started in at 6:30 a.m. with setting up company books and posting a year's worth of activity for the fireman with a side business and the next thing I knew it was 2 p.m. and someone was knocking at my door with another tax return in hand. Before they left the Fed-ex man came with the new phones and the bus came to deliver the terrorist back home. I'm not sure how the day got away so fast!

I put Zach in the car at 3:45 and we went to see the little, old, black man so I could write checks to pay bills for the Improvement District, then back home to attempt to make my hair behave so we could go out to dinner with PopPop. (I didn't get my desired commode seats,,sob).

When we got back home I had to tackle homework and the cell phones. We breezed through the spelling and vocabulary pretty quickly but the cell phone thing meant a series of phone calls to various folks at Alltel. I was finally helped by a young lady who knew what she was doing so the things actually work now. Seems they were programed backwards or something. PopPop wanted the speed dial directory set up in his so after an hour and a half with phone and manual in hand I finally figured out the secret of cell programing,,,,

call the 10 yr old next door and let her do it!

Before I went to sleep last night I made a pot of chicken stew to take to work today and the cornbread muffins are nearly done as I type.

I reckon it's time to get dressed and take my hinny and the chicken stew to work now.
Have a great day ya'll!!

Monday, February 14, 2005

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Mmmmmmmmmm the cake was good!

The Chick had a great time eating hotdogs and cake.

She couldn't wait to get a bite.

The two Terrorists in Training

Sweet Abie

Miz MeriKate

Lady Krysten

Saturday, February 12, 2005

I think it's Saturday

I know it's one of those days of the month when the flood gates open and folks of all shapes, and sizes gather in Wal mart to buy a shitload of groceries and stuff while I'm trying to gather my few things and get the hell outta Dodge.

There was the lady who mosied and sung (gospel) her way down the middle of every danged isle I tried to manuver. Then I kept meeting one of the school teachers from Zach's school down every other isle and we had to stop and talk a few minutes each time. I did finally zip and pause my way over to the toys to get the Chick a little something to put with her Dora outfit and cowboy hat for her birthday and grabbed bread, chips, and tea before fighting my way to the front for the dreaded check-out routine.

Thankfully I got out of there without a rise in my temper for once. I did have a little problem remembering where I parked my truck which caused me a little stroll around the parking lot until I remembered that I wasn't driving my truck which made it easier to find the little dumpling of a rental car that I'm driving until my truck's outta the shop.

As for the rest of the day, Nada, Zero, Zilch...until my fireman client called around dusk to tell me he was bringing all the stuff that he'd finally gotten gathered for me to set up his business accounts and prepare his tax return.

And I really should take a shovel to this house cause tomorrow we do the birthday party but I'm just feeling too lazy right now.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Thursday, February 10, 2005

You know the honeymoon is definately over

When your hubby asks you what you'd like for Valentine's Day and you reply with the first thing that comes to mind, "Two new toilet seats".


Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Puppy Love

"If you won't be my Valentine. I'll scream, I'll bite, I'll cry aloud. I'll start to whine If you won't be my Valentie. I'll frown and fret, I'll mope and pine, and It will serve you right,,,,,If you won't be my Valitaine.


Zach came home with a Valentine given to him by Amber today. It was written in hot pink ink and I kept the spelling as it was on the card where the word Valentine went downhill after the first spelling. I think Amber could make a career out of this!!

First Hand View

I listen to the WakeUp Crew on Rock103 any time I'm in my truck before 10 a.m. and there are some mornings that I swear these dudes and the one dudeette should be considered traffic hazards. The other morning I was wiping tears from the laughter caused by listening to a guy's blow by blow of a traffic accident that happened in front of him. It doesn't get much better than that! Click the Rock103 link and click on the Voice mail of the guy witnessing an accident. I tried to direct link to it but it wouldn't let me.

Rock103 Pic of the Day

Monday, February 07, 2005

It's Monday, It's raining

I'd rather be snuggled in my bed sleeping on a day like this. Instead I have to dress and go out into this mess.

Something to think about.

We sometimes have some deep discussions at our house on Sunday afternoons when there's nothing better to do. Yesterday the discussion was boobs and the talk eventually turned to the enhancement of boobs. Jerri brought up a good point, "what will the archeologists of the future think when they find an assortment of remains that include these little bags of silicon?"

Sunday, February 06, 2005

This reminds me of Zach

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting
my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they
won't let me talk!"

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Sleepy and Stuffed

After a morning of doing a little housework and spending the early afternoon watching movies with Zach, we went with the neighbors to the Grand Casino in Robinsonville for dinner and a little playing of the slot machines. The mussels were delicious, the slots were way too tight and ate up my 2 twenties in much less time than it took me to earn them!

I'm so sleepy now that I can barely keep my eyes open so I'm going to bed.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!!

Friday, February 04, 2005

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Long Days,,,Too Short Nights

I'm pooped. I've been sitting in that desk chair so long that I think I'm getting bunions on my butt if that's even possible. It's certainly not a joyful feeling when your nether cheeks go to sleep, let me tell ya. Trying to get into a routine around a new group of folks is nothing to sing about either. I am so used to getting things done in the quickest way possible and finding my own way around problems that it's been frustrating sometimes in having to wait to find out how these folks want things to be done and I find many stumbling blocks in the run of a day that seem to me to take the long way when a shorter solution would get it done.

I'm also having total recall moments about the reason I chose to retire from the office routine several years ago, I just don't enjoy office politics and the hurry-up-and-wait procedures as you go through the command ranks.

Maybe I just don't play well with others or I'm just too damned tired to play.

Anyway, I finally got home after another 8 to 6 day and hubby told me he needs a new cell phone because his is acting all ugly and stuff. Never mind that he could do this himself if he were so inclined. SO, I was on the phone with Alltel for half and hour going over phone features and plan upgrades and I found out that the phones that have worked wonderfully for us for several years are dinosaurs in comparison to the ones most folks use now and it's cheaper to get two new phones in order to upgrade to a cheaper plan. All I really need is a phone that dials and will allow someone to answer your call on the other end. It also helps if you can actually hear the conversation without having to drive to the top of the Mississippi levee or hang off a tall tree limb so imagine my surprise when I was told that they no longer sell the phones with just those features cause the newer models have all these free features that make your life so much simplier.

Tell me again how much simplier it is when you have to read a 6 inch thick manual written by ants with teeny, tiny typewriters. Hell I never figured out how to use the features on the phones we have now so what am I gonna do with 59 more? Anyway, this is what we're getting:

I don't think the fish picture is included but it's got lots of free features. I'll let you know if I learn how to use any of them but I think I'll need new glasses to find the phone.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Middle-aged Memory Boosters or My Brain's Been Replaced With Post It Notes

I have a stash of these little suckers that you wouldn't believe, a rainbow assortment of stick-um stickies for near bout every "in case you might be forgetting it" occasion. I honestly believe that the invention of post-it notes ranks up there with the cross-yer-heart bra and electricity. I might be losing my mind but damned if I'm losing my sticky notes!

I went back to the doc today and he changed my meds and we discussed the possibilties of more testing if this new stuff doesn't kick in and make things better. While I was there I thought to ask him about the forgetfulness I've been experiencing lately and asked him if it was a symptom of menopause. He told me that menopause could cause all sorts of strange and unexpected symptoms and memory sometimes did suffer so I told him about a lapse I'd had at work yesterday and he agreed that it definately fit into the strange and weird but wasn't quite sure he wanted to blame it on menopause. He asked me if I'd had other episodes of forgetfulness and I told him that the only reason I remembered THAT one was because it just happened yesterday. (I remembered the dryer episode after I'd left the office). Anyway, now I'm supposed to try to remember the times I forget and whether or not I'm stressed at the time,,,,,Like I don't have enough to try to remember.

I hope I have enough of these neon yellow stick-ums to last till next week.