Survivor

I've never watched a whole episode of Survivor and I probably never will because reality TV just isn't my thing. Another reason is reality on a television program doesn't seem to coinside with what I consider true reality.

In real life, how many times have you had TV cameras hanging around when REAL diasters occur?

• The toilet overflowing because one of the little tykes in your family flushed the plastic deodorizer holder thingy.


• Another overflow because the suspected, same, unknown, tyke wanted to see if a banana would flush, with skin on.


• Having to buy a new cell phone because the youngest tyke-lett gave it a dunking,,,in the toilet, or the river, or the pool.


• Having to dig the fish hook out of your ankle after the oldest tyke got too excited with his fishing pole.


• Artistic expression diasters, ie, painting self, or the walls, windows, or doors, with sharpies, markers, ink, lipstick, nail polish, or my personal favorite, purple soy candle wax(hahahaha, Jerri, I still laugh every time I see that photo).


• The pain and misery, and screaming fits that occur from stepping on leggos or that wicked little dinosaur.


• The heart-stopping fear that occurs when you hear voices and singing during that 2 am trip to the bathroom (from talking Grandpa Bear who's been buried in the toy cupboard).


• Being locked in a windowless bathroom, without tools, while your 2 and 3 yr old children are rolling the living room and kitchen with the roll of toilet paper they grabbed when you shooed them out of the bathroom that they locked you in. (before you ask, the old great wise one,,, who isn't me,,, turned the door knob around so these same kids wouldn't lock themselves in)


• The sinking feeling and near heart attack you have after you've rushed your 10 yr old to the hospital after he's been bitten by a cotton mouth and finding out that they don't know what to do for a snake bite. (luckily he only got a trace of the venom)

The list could go on for dayssssss, but they've never offered a million dollar prize for surviving any of those diasters.

Maybe I should write in to some of those TV execs and offer my kids and their kids as contestants. I'd offer myself but I'm getting too old for that stuff!