Bits of bytes

Wednesday was not an especially good day. I awoke to the parfum-de-fleur aroma of Pepe Le Pew's third cousin, Phew Le Pew, who'd been chased under my house by the neighbor's dogs. I'm not much of a rise and shine person but let me tell ya, coming awake to the delight of that aroma will get you to your feet pretty damn quick.

By 9 or so either the smell had dissipated a little, or my watering eyes and nose had gotten used to it, and I ventured out to the porch where sat the bushel of purple hull peas waiting to be shelled. That only took me about 4 or 5 hours (enough time to watch 2 Lifetime Movies including commercials).

After all that, I wasn't in much of a mood to do anything but I did manage to cook supper before I threw in the towel.

I did run across this new list of words for those who are interested in improving your vocabulary.

New Words for Todays New World

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow `remove' all the germs.

ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side.

PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. (I am so happy they've finally got a word for this affliction!)

PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.