I'm Country and Proud

I've lived in the country for most of my life and the few occasions when I've had to live in the cities have only strengthened my resolve that city living just ain't for me. I come from a family of farmers and I learned to respect and rely on the land for a lot of the things I've needed. I might be forced to pay a dollar for a cucumber or bell pepper during the winter months, but if I do, it's because the ones I planted out back in my garden got blasted by cotton chemicals or a hail storm.

Where am I going with this, you ask? Well, I'm getting around to it, just hold yer drawers on.

Today, before the doors opened inward and in spilled all the little chicklets who came to help Zach celebrate his coming birthday, I was having a pot sit, and the only reading material nearby was the Mid-South Farming magazine. Pot sittin and farm magazine reading just seem to go together in this house and if you sit there long enough you end up learning a little something whether you intend to or not. During this particular sittin spell I learned something that really got my dander up somewhat.

This one article about "natural fertilizers" caught my attention for some reason, and as I read it, I began to realize that it won't be long before country living will be going to hell in a hand basket. The article was about how scientists and chemists are working on taking the smell out of "natural" fertilizers due to the fact that city folks are moving to the rural areas and the smell is just too much like shit for their preferences.

The very first thought that bounced around in my head was, "Well city folks, it IS shit!" It's what cows do, and pigs, and horses, and chickens, and all other matter of farm animal do. It's only nature. And it's only natural around the countryside that these nutrients not go to waste and some of the smaller farms still spread it all natural like,,in the rough.

But it seems that "natural" fertilizer isn't their only gripe. They're also concerned with the smell when they build their big ole country houses next door, or down wind, to a hog or cattle farming operation.

What's the country coming to? A city?

So the scientists and chemists have discovered something that could possibly take some of the smell out of "nature". They've found that the natural fertilizer that comes from cows who are fed dried corn feed smells much worse than if they're fed corn feed with more moisture in it.

Can you believe that? Never mind that the cost to the cattle farmer to feed his stock will most likely double if the government decides that a cow needs more moisture in it's food to keep his cow pies from smelling to high heaven. Keep in mind that this would be the same government who pays the scientists and chemists to do these studies about shit. Also keep in mind that this shit study and others is paid for with our tax money.

I tell you, reading stuff like this is enough to make you want to put off pot sittin for a long time. It's surely enough to "rile the hell up" a country-lovin southern belle. Next thing you know, they'll be paving all our gravel roads so as not to get dust on those city-slicker driver's SUVs.

I don't know about the rest of the country folks but I plan to load my shotgun and be on alert for city folks trying to horn in on my little piece of country down here. And for good measure, I'm going to keep on top of things by reading all them farm magazines from now on. If it's shit today, who knows what it'll be tomorrow!